Limping Along

Many moons ago in 2001, when the Boulder household was flush with monetary means (i.e., pre-ivf), I had a certain itch to upgrade a previous Apple laptop (G3 Bronze).

I lusted for the newer, faster model.  I wanted to break up with my older laptop badly.  The track pad would overheat when I used it, and when you are in a hurry, having a cursor that doesn't move, or a screen that won't scroll becomes a hassle.  The hard-drive was overtaxed.  And then there was the thing with the logo.  Yes, the logo.  Some designer at Apple placed the logo so that it was "face up" when closed on a desk top (not a frequent happening), but "upside down" when open and glowing (a very frequent happening).  Drove me crazy, that lack of attention to detail.  I mean, how the heck did that get to market that way?

So, I threw caution to the wind and happily ordered away.  I cringe now when I think of how many vials of gonal-f that decision would be in present day ivf-dollars.

When it arrived I remember marveling at the shiny titanium and carbon fiber case, and the bright "mega-wide" display.  It wasn't just gorgeous.  It was sexy.  Seriously.  It measured 1 inch thick, and it was smaller and lighter than anything Apple had previously had on the market.  I know, because I'd had everything from the very first Macintosh to several incarnations of laptops and desktops along the way since the mid 80's.  It had a dvd drive too, and I thought that was the coolest thing.  My husband's previous PowerBook had had one, and we'd loved it on long trips, and I envisioned a good life for this computer and me.

Along the way, the dvd drive has not gotten as much use as I would have thought, the drive itself is in a horribly designed location (just underneath my right wrist, where my arm sits when I type) so it has a kind of stress-fault, and doesn't spin discs well.  The power cord has blown out twice now, and it is finicky now - hard to keep it actually plugged in and charging.  (But better than my G3, which actually caught fire - thankfully with me sitting there with it, so nothing was hurt.)  The left side has been cracked (um, titanium & carbon fiber - not so strong after all) since before I can remember.

It has had minor upgrades thanks to a loving husband who is technically minded - some memory here, and a new hard drive (size DOES matter) there.   

My life and computer, circa 2001 seemed so full of potential.  My how things have changed for the poor computer and me.

But all in all, it was an excellent choice, and it is still my constant companion.  My lifeline to like-minded people.  To friends who, like me, became hard to reach on any phone, be it cell or land line.  I am always on the move with this computer.  It is at my bedside at night.  It goes to work with me each day - sadly only very few days do I actually get to open it up and use it as the business runs on PC's (not my choice, obviously!).

So, imagine my surprise when a week ago Saturday, I reached for said beloved computer and the sleek titanium case which I've become so adept at handling slipped.  And fell.  All 5.3 pounds of it.  On my big toe.  The corner of it, to be exact, hit the top of my joint at the base of the toe.  It made me nauseous immediately - never a good sign, and because of the force and placement, it broke a vessel.  A large one, apparently.  It was black within seconds.

I've got a RX for an x-ray, but I haven't had a chance to get to the center.  I kind of passed it off as, "Oh, well, I'll limp around and things will be fine," but a friend pointed out how screwed up a toe joint could make my life if it doesn't heal properly, etcetera.  Orthopaedic surgeons' surgical assistants can be really graphic - and not in a good way.

So, for the first time in ages, I have to see a doctor for something that is not related to my infertility.  Well, except for the part about the reason why I was picking up the computer in the first place.  How weird is that? 

I just hope that when I do go, I only take off my shoes, and not everything from the waist down.   

Comments

[DD]

Once I started down this road, every "luxury" I had enjoyed before our infertility woes now becomes what does this dollar equal in treatment? New shoes = 10 vials of repronex (overseas cost); Dinner out = 3 weeks PIO supply; etc. Your fertility and lack thereof definitely comes with a price.

[Tine]

Yeow! So sorry about your toe, and sending you healing wishes. Oh, and lottery wishes, too.

[Jenn]

My laptop cord caught fire too! Luckily I was using it at the time. Not a Mac though. And the toe...ouch.

[dawn]

Well I was gonna say maybe your luck is changing till I read about the toe. Ouch!!
Hopefully Julie's quilt is making you lots of ivf$!!Hope the toe pain goes away soon and Im glad that yoy are posting again!! I had two post to read from you today wooohhooo
dawn in ky

[Cathy]

Thinking of you, your toe, and your laptop. So does it still work? (The laptop)

And the doctor's appointment... only socks removed?

A belated happy new year now that my comptuer is working again--also a Mac lover here!

[Erin]

Ahh, yes. Everything in our household is thought of in terms of "adoption dollars." One dinner night out = one night in hotel during adoption stay, etc.

Hope your toe is okay!

[Lut C.]

But what about the Mac? Is it okay? It's only your lifeline, your link to the world.

;-)

I'm a computer addict, can you tell?

[Lynnette]

Oh, OUCH! Even though I have a hate-hate relationship with my sexy, 17" flat-screen iMac, c. 2002 (No sweetie, I didn't write that about you...just keep letting me type) it has never tried to maim me! Hope you're on the mend. Coincidentally, yesterday, I was lusting over the new MacBook Pro with the dual Intel chip. Four times faster! All I wanted was a little G4 ibook to take to bed for reading email, surfing the net, and taking to South Africa, but that MacBook Pro is like a siren, calling me. Friggin' $1000 more, too. I'm probably going to get one when the reviews are all out. Damn it! Remind me why I want another Mac...

[Avonlea]

I hope your toe is okay - the laptop too.

It's interesting how life puts the value of things in perspective.

I am craving a new notebook but then I find ways to keep mine going. I've been giving up the lattes too - it's all money better spent.

[MFA Mama]

Oh, Shit Boulder. That's like me and the crockpot. My foot STILL hurts from that but I, er, haven't done diddly about it. It's not like it's my crotch or anything. BWAHH.

[Bel]

Hey Boulder,
A friend of Tertia sent me over...I'm a newbie, "only" on IVF#3 and guess what? They switched me to Gonal-F so I have quite a bit of Follistim left over, looking for a home.
You still in need? email me and I'll get the Folli in the mail to you.
Bel
(A friend of GirlH)

[Jessica]

Ah, the Titanium Powerbook. Such a nice computer, but so many little design flaws--they crack, the (decidedly non-titanium) hinges break, the batteries can fall out or get stuck in...and yet, they were such good computers. They corrected most of that stuff with the Aluminum series; too bad IVF takes all the money in the world. And Lynette, the performance claims for that MacBook Pro are highly inflated, and if you got a G4 iBook now you'd still love it; I just got the 12" and it's wonderful. The battery life is amazing, which is definitely not something people are going to be saying about the MacBook, even with its fancy-pants battery. God. I have got to stop raving about Macs on other people's blogs--but I love them so (and I was raised a PC girl, though at work I service both).