I was curled up on my bed in the hospital, the 9th stay since August, when my RE slipped in, sat on the end of the bed, and said, "Do you think you'd like to see someone?"
I knew what RE meant, RE knew what RE meant, and it sucked.
I said, "um, hmm, maybe?"
And then the RE left.
Just like that.
Fortunately, I had the RE's cell phone number, and in my demerol fugue I dialed it. Well, ok, I dialed it a few times before I got it right. RE picked up & I said "what the fuck?"
"You come up here, breeze in, drop that bomb & then breeze out? What was that a fucking drive by?"
Then I hung up. Yep, slammed down the phone. Too spent to spew any more.
Then I called my husband. Sobbed to him. He called RE's cell phone. Then RE called back.
I said, "you know, it isn't like my daughter died inside of me, and I've been sick ever since. It isn't like my due date for her is in 2 days. It isn't like I'm on the women's unit where overflow from L & D winds up. It isn't like I hear happy families coming to meet their new children. It isn't like I don't hear babies crying 24/7."
"Oh yeah, that is exactly what it is like....."
And then I hung up the phone again.
This time I said goodbye first.